IN QUEST OF GOD - Swami Ramdas -1

IN QUEST OF GOD

Swami Ramdas

ANANDASHRAM  

KANHANGAD

BHAGAVAD GITA IX – 22

To those who always remain absorbed in My

meditation, to those ever harmonious, I bring full

peace and security.

               

INTRODUCTION

The birth of Swami Ramdas, who was known in his pre-Sannyas life as

Vittal Rao, took place at Hosdurg, Kanhangad, North Kerala, on Thursday,

the 10th April 1884. It was a day of the full moon and it happened to be

Hanuman Jayanti, i.e., the birthday of Hanuman, the greatest devotee of

Sri Rama. This happy synchronisation seemed to augur well in advance for

the great future that was in store for the child born that day to Sri

Balakrishna Rao and Srimati Lalita Bai. The one remarkable thing about him,

that people who saw him then observed, was the extraordinary lustre of his

eyes.

Vittal was not overfond of his school or his books, and so came in for

a large measure of his teacher’s wrath. He often played truant, but in vain

did he hide himself in the bathroom or in the loft of the cow-pen, for his

ubiquitous teacher was well aware of the favourite haunts of his recalcitrant

pupil. His High School career too was marked by his extreme indifference to

studies and supreme dislike for his textbooks. Although he refused to be

cramped by the School curriculum, he became a voracious reader and read

all the books of general interest he could lay his hands upon. His taste for

literature enabled him to acquire even at so early an age a remarkable

fineness and facility in his English style. His intelligence even as a student

was of a high order. Whatever he once read he made his own. He was even

then a good conversationalist and had inherited from his father an

unequalled sense of wit and humour. He would, as he does even now, raise

roars of laughter from his listeners by the unique manner in which he

related incidents from his own life or observations. The humour always lay

more in the narrative of an event than in the event itself and he knew it.

Whatever be the situation he was placed in for the time being, it was the

lighter side of it rather than the serious one that appealed to his keen sense

of the comic and the ludicrous in life.

As could be expected, Vittal lagged behind in his studies with the

result that he could not get through the Matriculation examination. He then

joined the school of Arts and took a course in drawing and engraving.

Though his progress here was remarkable, as the future prospects that this

course held out were none too bright, he discontinued the course and joined

the Victoria Jubilee Technical Institute of Bombay and took up the Textile

Engineering course. At the end of the three-year course at the V.J.T.

Institute, Vittal Rao received his diploma in Textile Manufacture.

When he was employed as Spinning Master in a cotton mill at

Gulbarga, he was married to Rukmabai in the year 1908 and a daughter,

Ramabai, was born to him in 1913.

Throughout his life in service, brief periods of employment were

followed by longer periods of unemployment and idleness. Before he had

hardly settled down at one place, depending upon the appointment he had

secured, circumstances so seemed to work up that he lost the post for no

fault of his and he had once again to embark on a quest of securing some

fresh means of livelihood. Thus, for him, continued domestic felicity was

not to be and the sweet pleasures of a home of his own were, for the

greater part of the year, denied to him.

After a chequered career of several years he finally came down to

Mangalore in 1917 and joined his father-in-law in his business. It went

against his grain to stoop to any of the ‘tricks of the trade’. Inevitably this

led to a clash with his father-in-law and he soon severed his connection with

the business and started his own business in dyeing fabrics and printing

sarees. But he was too good to be a businessman and the financial condition

of the business was drifting from bad to worse. His domestic life also was

none too happy.

Slowly and imperceptibly the external circumstances were helping

Vittal Rao’s religious inclination to become deeper and his spirit of

dispassion to gain an added strength and impetus. Every evening he spent an

hour at the house of his brother, Sitaram Rao, whose children would be

engaged in Bhajan before the image of Sri Krishna. During the Bhajan, Vittal

Rao would lose himself in a blissful state of self-forgetfulness. It was at this

time Vittal Rao started chanting the Lord’s name ‘Ram’ and the repetition

of the name brought him great mental peace and joy. He kept up a

ceaseless flow of the blessed Name on his tongue and its humming would

automatically issue from his lips even when he was at work or was walking

in the streets. He gave up the night meal and other petty comforts of the

body. His wife got thoroughly frightened at the strange turn her husband’s

life was rapidly taking now. No persuasion, appeal or protest either from her

or from his child could induce him to alter the course he was now made to

follow. Because, he felt very strongly that he was set upon this path by that

Highest Power which he was struggling to attain and realize. This critical

period in Vittal Rao’s life and the psychological struggle he was now

undergoing have been beautifully and graphically described by him in this

 .

O RAM, THE TRUTH - THE LOVE –

THE GOAL OF HUMAN PERFECTION –

ALL HAIL - ALL HAIL! 

It was about two years ago (in 1920) that Ram first kindled in the

heart of His humble slave, Ramdas, a keen desire to realise His Infinite

Love. To strive to approach, and understand Ram is to recede from the

world of vanishing forms, because Ram is the only Truth - the only Reality.

Ram is a subtle and mysterious power that pervades and sustains the whole

universe. Birthless and deathless is He. He is present in all things and in all

creatures who only appear as separate entities, due their ever-changing

forms. To wake up from this illusion of forms is to realise at once the Unity

or Love of Ram. Love of Ram means Love of all beings, all creatures, all

things in this world; because Ram is in all and all is in Ram, and Ram is all in

all. To realise this great Truth we, who, through ignorance, feel as separate

individuals, should submit ourselves to the will and working of that Infinite

Power - that Infinite Love - Ram - who is one and all-pervading. By a

complete surrender to the will of Ram, we lose consciousness of the body

which keeps us aloof from Him, and find ourselves in a state of complete

identification and union with Ram, who is in us and everywhere around us.

In this condition, hatred which means consciousness of diversity, ceases,

and Love, consciousness of Unity, is realised. This Divine Love can be

attained by humbling ourselves to such a degree as to totally subdue our

egoism, our self-assertion as a separate individual existence. Having

reached this stage, we, by the awakened consciousness of Unity or Love, are

naturally prompted to sacrifice all the interests that concern the body, for

the welfare of our fellow-men and fellow-creatures who are all

manifestations of the same Ram. This was the great sacrifice of Buddha, of

Jesus Christ and has been of Mahatma Gandhi in our own times. These three

great men are the fullest manifestations of Ram - the Great Truth - the

Infinite Love. Om Sri Ram!

CHAPTER I

STRUGGLE AND INITIATION

FOR nearly a year, Ramdas struggled on in a world full of cares,

anxieties and pains. It was a period of terrible stress and restlessness - all of

his own making. In this utterly helpless condition, full of misery, “Where is

relief? Where is rest?” this was the heart’s cry of Ramdas. The cry was

heard, and from the Great Void came the voice “Despair not! Trust Me and

thou shalt be free!” - and this was the voice of Ram. These encouraging

words of Ram proved like a plank thrown towards a man struggling for very

life in the stormy waves of a raging sea. The great assurance soothed the

aching heart of helpless Ramdas, like gentle rain on thirsting earth.

Thenceforward, a part of the time that was formerly totally devoted to

worldly affairs was taken up for the meditation of Ram who, for that period,

gave him real peace and relief. Gradually love for Ram - the Giver of peace

- increased. The more Ramdas meditated on and uttered His name, the

greater the relief and joy he felt. Nights, which are free from worldly

duties, were, in course of time, utilised for Rambhajan with scarcely one or

two hours’ rest. His devotion for Ram progressed by leaps and bounds.

During the day, when cares and anxieties were besetting him due to

monetary and other troubles, Ram was coming to his aid in unexpected

ways. So, whenever free from worldly duties, be the period ever so small,

he would meditate on Ram and utter His name. Walking in the streets he

would be uttering, “Ram, Ram”. Ramdas was now losing attraction for the

objects of the world. Sleep, except for one or two hours in the night, was

given up for the sake of Ram. Fineries in clothes and dress were replaced by

coarse Khaddar. Bed was substituted by a bare mat. Food, first, two meals

were reduced to one meal a day and after sometime this too was given up

for plantains and boiled potatoes - chillies and salt were totally eschewed.

No taste but for Ram; meditation of Ram continued apace. It encroached

upon the hours of the day and the so-called worldly duties.

At this stage one day, Ramdas’ father came to him, sent by Ram, and

calling him aside, gave him the Upadesh of Ram-Mantram - “Sri Ram, Jai

Ram, Jai Jai Ram!” assuring him that if he repeated this Mantram at all

times, Ram would give him eternal happiness. This initiation from the father

- who has thereafter been looked upon by Ramdas as Gurudev - hastened on

the aspirant in his spiritual progress. Off and on he was prompted by Ram to

read the teachings of Sri Krishna - “The Bhagavad Gita”, Buddha - “Light of

Asia”, Jesus Christ - “New Testament”, Mahatma Gandhi - “Young India”

and “Ethical Religion”. The young plant of Bhakti in Ram was thus nurtured

in the electric atmosphere created by the influence of these great men on

the mind of humble Ramdas. It was at this time that it slowly dawned upon

his mind that Ram was the only Reality and all else was false. Whilst desires

for the enjoyment of worldly things were fast falling off, the consideration

of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ was also wearing out. The sense of possession and

relationship was vanishing. All thought, all mind, all heart, all soul was

concentrated on Ram, Ram covering up and absorbing everything.

CHAPTER II

RENUNCIATION

NOW from the narrow pond of a worldly life Ram had lifted up his

slave to throw him into the extensive ocean of a Universal Life. But to swim

in the wide ocean, Ram knew, Ramdas wanted strength and courage, for

gaining which Ram intended to make his ignorant and untrained slave to

pass through a course of severe discipline, and this under His direct

guidance and support. So, one night while engaged in drinking in the

sweetness of His name, Ramdas was made to think in the following strain:

“O Ram, when Thy slave finds Thee at once so powerful and so

loving, and that he who trusts Thee can be sure of true peace and

happiness, why should he not throw himself entirely on Thy mercy, which

can only be possible by giving up everything he called ‘mine’? Thou art all in

all to Thy slave. Thou art the sole Protector in the world. Men are deluded

when they declare, ‘I do this, I do that. This is mine, that is mine’. All, O

Ram, is Thine, and all things are done by Thee alone. Thy slave’s one prayer

to Thee is to take him under Thy complete guidance and remove his ‘I’-

ness.”

This prayer was heard. Ramdas’ heart heaved a deep sigh; a hazy

desire to renounce all and wander over the earth in the garb of a mendicant

- in quest of Ram - wafted over his mind. Now Ram prompted him to open at

random the book - “Light of Asia” - which was before him at the time. His

eyes rested upon the pages wherein is described the great renunciation of

Buddha, who says:-

“For now the hour is come when I should quit

This golden prison, where my heart lives caged,

To find the Truth; which henceforth I will seek,

For all men’s sake, until the truth be found.”

Then Ramdas similarly opened the “New Testament” and lighted

upon the following definite words of Jesus Christ:-

“And everyone that hath forsaken houses or brethren or sisters or

father or mother or wife or children or lands for my name’s sake, shall

receive a hundredfold and shall inherit everlasting life.”

Then again he was actuated in the same way to refer to the

“Bhagavad Gita” - and he read the following Sloka:-

Sarvadharmaan Parityajya Maam Ekam Saranam Vraja

Aham Twaa Sarvapaapebhyo Mokshayishyaami Maa Suchah

“Abandoning all duties come to Me alone for shelter, sorrow not, I

will liberate Thee from all sins.”

Ram had thus spoken out through the words of these three great

Avatars - Buddha, Christ and Krishna - and all of them pointed to the same

path - renunciation. At once Ramdas made up his mind to give up for the

sake of Ram, all that he till then hugged to his bosom as his own, and leave

the Samsaric world. During this period, he was very simple in his dress which

consisted of a piece of cloth covering the upper part of the body and

another wound round the lower part. Next day, he got two clothes of this

kind dyed in Gerrua or red ochre, and the same night wrote two letters -

one to his wife whom Ram had made him look upon for sometime past as his

sister and another to a kind friend whom Ram had brought in touch with

Ramdas for his deliverance from debts. The resolution was made. At five o’

clock in the morning he bade farewell to a world for which he had lost all

attraction and in which he could find nothing to call his own. The body, the

mind, the soul - all were laid at the feet of Ram - that Eternal Being, full of

love and full of mercy.

CHAPTER III

ADOPTION OF SANNYAS

THE morning train carried Ramdas away from Mangalore and dropped

him in the evening at Erode - a railway junction. He had taken with him a

sum of Rs.25 and a few books including the Gita and the New Testament. At

Erode he found himself strangely helpless without any plans or thought for

the future. He did not know where he was being led by Ram. He wandered

about for some time and when darkness fell, he approached a small, low hut

on the roadside and finding at its entrance a middle aged mother, requested

her to give him some food. The kind mother at once welcomed him into her

hut and served him with some rice and curds. The mother was very kind.

With great difficulty could she be induced to accept some money for the

food supplied by her.

On leaving the hut, he proceeded to the railway station. He laid

himself down in a corner in the station and took rest for some time. He did

not know what to do or where to go. At midnight, a bell rang to announce

the arrival of a train. He got up and found near him a Tamilian who inquired

of him regarding his movements. Ramdas was unable to say anything in

reply. Ram alone could determine his future. Here this friend promised

Ramdas to take him with him as far as Trichinopoly for which place he was

bound. Money was given to him for the purchase of a ticket for Ramdas, and

both boarded the train. It was evening when the train reached Trichinopoly

station. Alighting from the train, he proceeded to the city. All the time, all

the way from Mangalore, the divine Mantram of Sri Ram was on his lips. He

could never forget it. The utterance of Ram’s name alone sustained and

cheered him. Taking rest for the night on the verandah of a house by the

roadside, next morning he started on foot to Srirangam, about 7 miles from

Trichy. He reached the place at about 8 o’clock.

Here Ramdas was first let into the secret of Ram’s purpose in drawing

him out from the sphere of his former life and surroundings - and that

purpose was to take him on a pilgrimage to sacred shrines and holy rivers.

At Srirangam, the beautiful river Kaveri was flowing in all her purity and

majesty. Going up to the river, he bathed in its clear waters. Here, on the

banks of the Kaveri, he assumed, by Ram’s command, the robe of a

Sannyasin. It was a momentous step by taking which Ram gave him an

entirely new birth. The white clothes previously worn by him were offered

up to the Kaveri, who carried them away in her rushing waters. The Gerrua

or orange-coloured clothes were put on and the following prayer went up to

the feet of Almighty Ram:

“O Ram! O Love Infinite - Protector of all the worlds! It is by Thy wish

alone that Thy humble slave has been induced to adopt Sannyas. In Thy

name alone, O Ram, he has given up Samsara, and cut asunder all bonds, all

ties.

“O Ram, bless Thy poor devotee with Thy grace. May Ramdas be

endued with strength, courage and faith to carry out in Thy name, Ram, the

following vows and bear all trials and all kinds of privations that may beset

the path of a Sannyasi in his passage through the rough and perilous life of a

mendicant:-

1. This life be henceforth entirely consecrated to meditation and the

service of Sri Ram.

2. Strict celibacy be observed, looking upon all women as mothers.

3. The body be maintained and fed upon the food procured by

Bhiksha or on what was offered as alms.”

CHAPTER IV

SRIRANGAM

THE thrills of a new birth, a new life, with the sweet love of Ram was

felt. A peace came upon Ramdas’ struggling soul. The turmoil ceased. Ram’s

own hands seemed to have touched the head of his slave - Ram blessed. O

tears, flow on, for the mere joy of a deliverance! Sorrow, pain, anxiety and

care - all vanished, never to return. All glory to Thee, Ram. The great

blessing came from Ram: “I take Thee under my guidance and protection -

remain ever my devotee - thy name shall be Ramdas.”

Yes, Ramdas, what a grand privilege it is to become the Das of Ram

who is all love - kindness - all mercy - all forgiveness!

Now, he came up to a Dharmashala, close to the river and found

some Sadhus sitting on the floor of the passage leading out to the main

road. They were busy performing Rambhajan to the accompaniment of

cymbals and Ektar. They were singing the glorious name of Ram. Ramdas

also squatted beside the two young Sannyasis and placed his Lota - procured

at Trichy - in front of him to receive Bhiksha from the pilgrims, who passed

that way after their bath. The Bhajan of the two young devotees was really

very sweet. Time passed most pleasantly. It was about 12 noon that the

Bhajan came to a close. Looking upon the cloth spread in front of them the

young Sadhus observed only 3 quarter Anna pieces lying on it, all they had

got for the day. (One Anna is 1/16th of a Rupee) With a disappointed look

one of them remarked:

“Since morning we have been singing the glory of God and He has

given us only this much. Hunger is pinching the stomach. How are we to

procure food, O God? Is Thy Bhajan from morning till now worth only 9

pies?” (One pie is 1/12th of an anna)

This question was at once answered by Ramdas: “No, young brothers,

no value can be set upon your Bhajan. God is always kind and loving. He

never forsakes those who depend upon Him. Ram has sent through His

humble slave money for your food today.”

So saying, he dropped into the hands of the Sadhus one rupee out of

the amount he was then carrying with him. The poor Sadhus simply stared at

him in amazement. Their eyes were filled with tears. They exclaimed:

“O God, Thy ways are wonderful - pardon, pardon Thy unworthy

slaves; we doubted Thee and Thy love. In future, grant that we may never

blame Thee, but bear all sufferings patiently in Thy name.”

The Sadhus then left the place. Looking into his own Lota Ramdas

discovered in it 2 pies. His heart leaped with joy at the sight of these tiny

coins - the first proceeds of his Bhiksha! Buying two small plantains with the

coins he ate them with all pleasure. At this time, in the same line in which

he was sitting there was another Sadhu on the right - whilst the young

Sadhus aforementioned were on his left. Now, this Sadhu coming forward

enquired as to where Ramdas was proceeding. He could not, of course, find

a reply to this question. Ram alone could do so. Receiving no reply, the

Sadhu proposed to take Ramdas with him to Rameshwaram whither he was

going.

O Ram, Thy kindness is indeed very great. To guide Thy helpless slave

Thou hast sent to him this Sadhu - why? He can be taken to be none other

than Ram Himself.

From time to time Ramdas met Sadhus - who not only led him on the

pilgrimage but also took every care of him. All these Sadhus, shall, by Ram’s

will, go by one name, ‘Sadhuram’.

CHAPTER V

RAMESHWARAM

THE guide was at once accepted. Ramdas had then with him about

Rs.9, which amount he handed over to the Sadhuram and felt much relieved

by doing so. To carry money is to carry anxiety with you; for it draws your

attention to it now and again. On making over the money, he suggested to

the Sadhuram to get the rupees changed into one Anna coins and have them

all distributed to the poor, who were begging at the doors of temples, and

this desire he carried out. Now, Ramdas threw himself more completely

than ever on the support of Ram with only two clothes and a few books - all

his possessions in the world. He started with the Sadhuram whom Ram had

sent as a guide. He led him to the railway station and both got into a train

running to Rameshwaram. No ticket - Ram was ticket and all in all.

Whilst in the train, Ramdas continued his meditation of Ram. The

train travelled on until it reached a station about 6 miles from

Rameshwaram. Here a Ticket Inspector came into the compartment in which

Ramdas and his kind guide were seated. After checking the tickets of other

passengers, he approached the Sadhus and cried, “Tickets, tickets”.

“No tickets, brother, we are Sadhus”, was the reply.

“Without tickets you cannot travel any farther. You have to get down

here”, said the Inspector.

At once getting up, Ramdas told the Sadhuram that it was Ram’s wish

that they should alight at that place. Walking out of the station they came

to the high road. Here the Sadhuram grumbled over the action of the

Inspector. To this Ramdas said:

“Brother, we cannot travel all along to Rameshwaram by train.

Pilgrimages should be made on foot. But somehow Ram was kind enough to

take us on the train so far. We have only to walk a distance of six miles in

order to reach Rameshwaram. It is the will of Ram that this distance should

be covered by foot. Be cheerful, brother.”

They started to walk. When they travelled about two miles Ram

brought them in touch with a barber. Till then, since he started from

Mangalore, Ramdas had not had a shave. So, here, he first got his beard,

moustache and head all shaved after the manner of Sannyasis. As they were

nearing Rameshwaram, they came to a tank by the roadside named

Lakshman Kund. After bathing in this tank they passed by a number of small

tanks, bearing different names.

At last Ram directed their steps to the famous temple of

Rameshwaram. The temple is a gigantic structure. One actually loses

oneself in the bewildering passages, corridors, and aisles that lead to the

place of worship. When the Sadhus approached the Holy of holies they found

the door open - the worship of Rameshwar was going on in all its ceremonial

éclat. O Ram! All glory to Thee! The occasion and the place sent thrills of

joy into Ramdas’ soul. Here Ramdas came in touch with some Mahatmas

who had come there on pilgrimage, of whom one, Swami Govindananda, was

very kind to him. The Swami said that he belonged to the Math of Shri

Siddharudha Swami of Hubli and offered an invitation to Ramdas to attend

the Shivaratri festival in the Hubli Math, which was then shortly to take

place.

CHAPTER VI

MADURA

RAMDAS remained in Rameshwaram for 2 days. The Sadhuram, then

proposing a move, led him to the railway station. Catching a train

proceeding further south, they reached a place called Dhanushkodi. On

alighting here, the Sadhuram - the guide so kindly provided by Ram - walked

in the direction of the sea with Ramdas at his heels. Ramdas who was always

busy with the meditation of Ram was feeling as though he was moving about

in a dream - Ram, his sole Quest, sole Thought, sole Aim. It was about two

miles’ walk to the spot on the seashore where legend declares Sri

Ramachandra built the celebrated Sethu or bridge during His excursion to

Lanka. Halfway on the sands it began to drizzle. The season was cold,

clothing was scanty, but Ram’s kindness and grace were very great. Going

down to the extreme south of this projecting piece of sandy land, both

bathed in the sea.

Next, the Sadhuram and Ramdas went to a small temple close by

where they had the Darshan of two Sadhus permanently residing there. A

brisk walk back to Dhanushkodi brought them to a Dharmashala where the

Sadhuram provided Ramdas and himself with some food. Ramdas was at this

time only on fruit diet or food without salt and chillies. After a day’s stay

here they started by train for Madura and reached the place in due time.

The temple of Madura was visited. The temple of Meenakshi is a beautiful

pile wherein the sculptor has exhibited all his skill. The life-size

symmetrical images cut in stone seem to be stepping out of the broad pillars

that support the upper structure of the temple. The shrine is massive in

build and can stand the wear and tear of ages. The sight of it is, in brief, a

most imposing one.

Here Ramdas met again Swami Govindananda who was so kind to him

at Rameshwaram. He with two other Saints found Ramdas sitting on one side

of the entrance to the temple. The tired Sadhuram - Ramdas’ guide - was

sleeping and Ramdas was squatting at his feet. In sleep the Sadhuram’s legs

happened to touch Ramdas’ body. Swami Govindananda remonstrated at

this and was about to shake up the Sadhuram when Ramdas addressed the

Swami:

“Maharaj, please don’t disturb the Sadhu. He is sound asleep.”

“Behold!” cried the Swami, “he is kicking at you. I cannot bear the

sight. I consider it as nothing short of sacrilege.”

“Swamiji, it is all right,” replied Ramdas. “His feet are holy. He is

Ramdas’ Guru. He is Ram - so no harm anyway.”

The Swami said that he could not quite understand Ramdas whom he

held in high reverence. Next day, the Sadhuram proposed a move from the

place. Before doing so he told Ramdas that his duty, in so far as guiding him

to Rameshwaram was concerned, was over and that he should be permitted

to part from him in order to proceed to his Gurustan at Rajamannargudi. All

along, the Sadhuram had been very kind to him and had looked after him

very tenderly at all stages of the journey, taking every care of him. At a

certain railway junction, he left Ramdas. However, before doing so, he

assured Ramdas that the train was carrying him to Chidambaram, a noted

shrine.

CHAPTER VII

CHIDAMBARAM

AT noon, the train steamed into Chidambaram station. Ramdas

stepped out on the platform. He was now without a guide. Ram had made

him a child, without plans, without any thought of the next moment, but

with his mind ever fixed in the one thought of Ram, Ram. He found some

pilgrims proceeding towards the city and followed them. At midday he

reached the precincts of the temple of Chidambaram. He went up straight

to the entrance of the temple, but could not gain admission as none was

allowed to get in without a payment of annas 4 - the entrance fee. He was

without a single pie which however he did not at all regret. He wandered

for a time amidst the ruins surrounding the temple and, after bathing in one

of the many tanks, seated himself on a long stone in the sun, in a secluded

portion of the ruins. It was now about 1 o’clock. Ramdas, who was all the

while absorbed in the Ram Japa opened his small bundle of books and taking

out the Bhagavad Gita commenced reading it. He had not perused half a

dozen verses when he found a stout Tamilian coming towards him and taking

a seat beside him.

“Maharaj,” he inquired, “may I know if you have taken any food for

the day?”

“No,” replied Ramdas, “but Ram provides. No fear so far, no thought

of it; you remind me, friend.”

“Can you tell me what kind of food you take?” next asked the friend.

“Plantains, if you please”, Ramdas rejoined.

At once the friend got up and disappeared, and in a short time

returned with a dozen plantains, and laying them in front of Ramdas pressed

him to eat. O Ram, Thy ways are wonderful! The repast over, the Tamilian,

who was sent by Ram Himself to look after the wants of his humble devotee,

next asked Ramdas to follow him. At the entrance of the temple he paid

annas 8, the entrance fee for both, and took him inside the temple. After

the Darshan of the idols, he showed him the whole interior of the temple.

One rarity here is, the roof of the central building of the temple is covered

with sheets of gold. The guide furnished by Ram was very kind to him. There

was that night, Puja in the temple in a grand style, and also a procession

attended by thousands. When all this was over, it was past midnight; the

Tamilian friend secured for Ramdas a place for spending the night. Here he

made Ramdas understand that he was only a pilgrim come there to attend

that night’s Puja and procession from a neighbouring town, and that he

intended to return by the early morning train, and that he was much blessed

by Ramdas’ society for ever so short a time. Ramdas’ heart was too full for

words. Ram’s kindness was indescribable.

Next morning, along with other pilgrims, Ramdas came to the railway

station. But where to go and by what train, he was entirely in the dark. His

imaginative faculty for making plans and seeking information was totally

absent. Without a guide he was feeling helpless. He depended for all things

on Ram whom he was remembering every moment of his existence. On

reaching the station he found a train standing, but did not know whence it

had come and whither it was proceeding. He straightaway went up to the

gate and was entering the platform when the ticket-clerk barred his passage

telling him that he should not enter without a ticket. It was all Ram’s will.

Ram did not want that he should travel by this train. Probably it might be

running towards a direction where Ramdas would come across no places of

pilgrimage. Ram knew best.

CHAPTER VIII

JOURNEY TO TIRUPAPULIYUR

A little distance from the station under a tree, were piled up some

stones. Ramdas, going up to the place, sat down on them and continued his

meditation of Ram. It was past midday when another train arrived. Ramdas

leaving the place, got upon the platform, nobody obstructing him at the

gate this time, because this train was the right one for him to travel in.

Here he came in touch with a Sadhu who immediately took him up. Ram

gave him another guide. Both entered the carriage. The new Sadhuram was

very solicitous. He asked him as to where he intended going. Ramdas was

perplexed at this question. The simple truth was, he did not know. He

replied:

“Ram knows, and since you are sent by Ram to guide him, you ought

to know where he should go next.”

The Sadhuram then said: “Well, I am taking you to Tirupapuliyur and

thence to Tiruvannamalai.”

“As you please,” replied Ramdas. “You are Ram. Ramdas follows

wherever you take him.”

Now the train was running. On the front seat facing Ramdas were

seated two young Hindus - English educated. Both of them stared for some

time at the strange, careless and quaint Sannyasi, that is, Ramdas in front

of them. Then one of them remarked to the other in English (they thought

that the Sannyasi before them was ignorant of the English language):

“Mark closely the Sadhu facing us. He belongs, take my word, to a

class of Sannyasis who are perfect humbugs. The fellow has adopted this

mode of life simply as a means of eking out his livelihood. This man is a

veritable impostor and a hoax.”

This observation was highly approved of by the other party who held

a similar opinion of poor Ramdas. They spoke something more which he

could not clearly catch owing to the rolling sound of the running train. O

Ram, how kind of Thee to put Ramdas in a situation in which he is made to

hear himself spoken of in this manner! Instead of feeling annoyed, he sent

up a prayer to Ram to bless the young men for their frankness. Further,

Ramdas could not resist the expression of his gratitude to these friends, and

thus addressed them with hands folded in salute:

“O kind friends! It gives Ramdas great pleasure to confess that he is

in full agreement with the view you have expressed about him. It is

perfectly true that he is a fraud. He has simply put on the robes of a

Sannyasi in order to find a living thereby. But one thing more you discover in

him and that is, he is mad of Ram and every moment he cries out to Him to

make him pure and only live for Ram’s sake. Besides, it is his humble

presumption that Ram is taking him on this pilgrimage to purify him.”

This speech surprised both the friends, not so much on account of its

import as the knowledge it brought them that the vagrant Sannyasi could

understand English and therefore had grasped the purport of their remarks,

which were never intended to be known to him. A sudden change came over

them and both fell at his feet and sought his pardon for their “thoughtless

remarks” as they termed them. Thereafter, they became very solicitous and

kind. They inquired if he required anything to eat. This was a reminder to

him that he had not tasted anything the whole of that day, a circumstance

which he had entirely forgotten. He then told the two friends that he was

mainly living upon fruits, and would gladly accept any alms from them.

After some consultation with the Sadhuram, the guide, they handed over to

him some money for the purchase of fruits for Ramdas. Ram’s ways are

indeed inscrutable - He is all love and all kindness!

CHAPTER IX

PONDICHERRY AND TIRUVANNAMALAI

IN due course, Tirupapuliyur was reached and Ramdas was taken by

the Sadhuram to the house of an old relation of his, where, on the

verandah, the night was spent. Next morning, the Sadhuram advised him to

go for alms to a few houses pointed out by him.

“Look here, Maharaj,” said the kind-hearted Sadhuram, “money is

wanted for your plantains and milk. Ordinary food can be easily procured,

but, for your food, money is needed.” He conducted Ramdas to a street,

both sides of which were studded with houses owned by Vakils.

“Go from house to house, they might give you something. I shall wait

for you at the other corner,” suggested the Sadhuram.

Ramdas, who was always at the bidding of his guide, did as directed.

Begging at the door of about half a dozen houses, he got a handful of copper

and other coins which were all handed over to the Sadhuram who, on

counting found them to be about 10 Annas.

“Your Ram is really kind,” remarked the Sadhuram, smiling. “This

sum will do for two days.”

In the course of the day, there was a talk about Pondicherry which,

Ramdas came to know, lay only at a distance of about 20 miles from

Tirupapuliyur. A desire sprang up in his mind to visit the place for the

Darshan of Sri Aurobindo - the great Bengalee Saint. The wish was expressed

to the Sadhuram and he agreed to it at once. The following morning, early

before sunrise, both started, of course, on foot and went towards

Pondicherry. At about 2 p.m. the outskirts of the city of Pondicherry were

reached. The peculiarity here was that the entrance to the city was lined on

both sides, a few yards from each other, by toddy shops! On entering the

city inquiries were made for the home or Ashram in which Saint Sri

Aurobindo lived. After knocking about for some time, the gate of a palatial

building was pointed at by a friend, wherein, the Sadhus were told, the

saint was residing. Entering, Ramdas inquired of two young Bengalees,

whom he met in one of the rooms at the entrance of the building, if Saint

Sri Aurobindo could be seen then. To this one of them replied:

“Sir, sorry, since Sri Aurobindo is in retirement, he will not give

audience to anybody for a year to come.”

Ramdas then begged the favour of a mere sight of the great man

which would satisfy him. Even this favour could not be granted. It was all

Ram’s wish. So he came out and explained the circumstances to the

Sadhuram who was waiting outside. While this was going on, a policeman

was observed to be approaching the spot where the Sadhus were standing.

Coming up to them, the ubiquitous policeman said:

“Friends, you are wanted at the police station. You have to follow

me.”

At this, the Sadhuram was immensely frightened and pulling Ramdas

aside, whispered to him that most probably the policeman was taking them

to be flogged. Ramdas suggested that they might accompany the policeman

and leave the future in the hands of Ram. About half a mile’s walk, and the

police station was reached and the Sadhus found themselves standing in

front of a tall man of middle age with fierce looks and a well-curved and

twisted moustache. He spoke something sternly, which could not be

grasped, for he must have done so in French. A reply in English was given by

Ramdas and the man, who seemed to be a Police Inspector, simply stared in

return to indicate that he did not understand what was spoken. Then, a talk

in Tamil ensued between him and the Sadhuram. The import of what the

Police Inspector said was that only two hours were allowed for the Sadhus to

clear out of the city. At this, the Sadhuram remonstrated that after a walk

of 20 miles at a stretch, the tired pilgrims required some rest and they

preferred to remain in the city for the night and leave the place next

morning. This reply not only did not satisfy the Inspector but also appeared

to have offended him a bit. For now he talked fast, his eyes glistening and

his hands twisting his moustache furiously.

The allowance of two hours was reduced to one hour, and, if they did

not obey the orders promptly, he warned that they would be made to pay

for it. This time the words he spoke were freely spiced here and there with

some finely selected epithets of abuse. The Sadhuram at once pressed

Ramdas to move away swiftly from that place for very life. He was, poor

man, both frightened and annoyed at the sharp words of the Inspector. A

few yards off the station, and the Sadhuram commenced to pour quite a

shower of abuse on the Inspector. No amount of persuasion on the part of

Ramdas for peace would stop the brisk play of his tongue. He was assured, it

was all Ram’s wish and so there was no reason to grumble. Still, he

continued to give vent to choice epithets of abuse. He seemed to be quite a

master in that line. For about a mile the Sadhuram’s wrath did not cool

down. Gradually, he became silent, may be, due to exhaustion of his stock

of vocabulary or on account of an empty stomach, or it might have been all

a trick of Ram to test Ramdas if he would join him in the game set on foot

by Him! Ram alone knows and He alone can judge.

Retracing about four miles from the city of Pondicherry, the

Sadhuram selected the verandah of a shop which was shut, for taking rest

for the night. Early following morning, they started on their return journey

to Tirupapuliyur, which place they reached at 2 o’ clock in the afternoon.

Here it should be stated that the Sadhuram was looking after him so

tenderly that he was a veritable foster-mother to him. Again, it was all

Ram’s work, whose ways are at once loving and mysterious. Next day, the

train carried both the Sadhus to Tiruvannamalai. Here, the Sadhuram

conducted him to the house of a goldsmith with whom he was acquainted.

The goldsmith was a pious man. He pressed both the Sadhus to remain in his

house as guests. For some days, Ramdas occupied a closed verandah in this

friend’s house for his meditation and rest. In the mornings and evenings he,

along with the Sadhuram, would go to the huge temple of Mahadev.

One day, the kind Sadhuram took him for the Darshan of a famous

Saint of the place, named Sri Ramana Maharshi. His Ashram was at the foot

of the Tiruvannamalai mountains. It was a thatched shed. Both the visitors

entered the Ashram, and meeting the Saint, fell prostrate at his holy feet. It

was really a blessed place where that great man lived. He was young but

there was on his face a calmness, and in his large eyes a passionless look of

tenderness, which cast a spell of peace and joy on all those who came to

him. Ramdas was informed that the Saint knew English. So he addressed him

thus:

“Maharaj, here stands before Thee a humble slave. Have pity on him.

His only prayer to Thee is to give him thy blessing.”

The Maharshi, turning his beautiful eyes towards Ramdas, and looking

intently for a few minutes into his eyes as though he was pouring into

Ramdas his blessing through those orbs, shook his head to say that he had

blessed. A thrill of inexpressible joy coursed through the frame of Ramdas,

his whole body quivering like a leaf in the breeze. O Ram, what a love is

Thine! Bidding farewell to the Mahatma the Sadhuram and he returned to

the goldsmith’s residence.

CHAPTER X

IN THE CAVE

NOW, at the prompting of Ram, Ramdas, desiring to remain in

solitude for some time, placed the matter before the Sadhuram. The

Sadhuram was ever ready to fulfil his wishes. Losing no time, he took

Ramdas up the mountain behind the great temple. Climbing high up, he

showed him many caves. Of these, one small cave was selected for Ramdas

which he occupied the next day. In this cave he lived for nearly a month in

deep meditation of Ram. This was the first time he was taken by Ram into

solitude for His Bhajan. Now, he felt most blissful sensations since he could

here hold undisturbed communion with Ram. He was actually rolling in a sea

of indescribable happiness. To fix the mind on that fountain of bliss - Ram,

means to experience pure joy!

Once, during the day, when he was lost in the madness of Ram’s

meditation, he came out of the cave and found a man standing a little away

from the mouth of the cave. Unconsciously, he ran up to him and locked him

up in a fast embrace. This action on the part of Ramdas thoroughly

frightened the friend who thought that it was a mad man who was behaving

in this manner and so was afraid of harm from him. It was true, he was mad

- yes, he was mad of Ram, but it was a harmless madness which fact the

visitor realised later. The irresistible attraction felt by him towards this

friend was due to the perception of Ram in him. “O Ram, Thou art come,

Thou art come!” - with this thought Ramdas had run up to him. At times, he

would feel driven to clasp in his arms the very trees and plants growing in

the vicinity of the cave. Ram was attracting him from all directions. Oh, the

mad and loving attraction of Ram! O Ram, Thou art Love, Light and Bliss.

Thus passed his days in that cave.

For food, he would come down in the morning, and going into the

city, beg from door to door and receive from the kind mothers of the place,

handfuls of rice in his small Lota. When the Lota was a little over half-full,

he would return to the cave. Collecting some dry twigs, he would light a fire

over which he would boil the rice in the same Lota. Water was at hand. A

small stream of pure, crystal water was flowing down the hill just in front of

the cave, and in this stream it was also most refreshing to take the daily

bath. This boiled rice was taken to appease hunger, without salt, or

anything else, and only once a day. To share with him in this simple fare, a

number of squirrels would visit the cave. Fearlessly, at times, they would

eat from his hands. Their fellowship was also a source of great joy to

Ramdas. Everyday, he would wander over the hills amidst the shrubs, trees

and rocks - a careless, thoughtless child of Ram! It was altogether a simple

and happy life that he led in that mountain retreat. The kind-hearted

Sadhuram would meet him everyday - either up the hill or in the city, when

he came down for Bhiksha. A day came when he received Ram’s command

to leave the place - whereto, Ram alone knew.

CHAPTER XI

TIRUPATI

ONE early morning at about 4 a.m., descending from the mountain,

Ramdas walked straight to the railway station, and finding a train waiting,

got on to the platform without being obstructed, and entered a

compartment. A few minutes later the train moved. Where was the train

taking him? It was none of his concern to try to know this. Ram never errs

and a complete trust in Him means full security and the best guidance. The

train ran up to the Katpadi junction. Here, Ram brought him in touch with a

Sadhuram to guide him. He promised to take him to Tirupati, in which

direction the train was running. O Ram, Thy plans are, indeed, always

mysteriously worked out. The new Sadhuram and he travelled together, and

in due course both alighted at the Tirupati station. After refreshing

themselves with some food prepared by the kind-hearted Sadhuram, they

directed their steps towards the Tirupati hill. Both commenced ascending

the stone steps of the hill. It was climbing “higher still and higher up the

mount of glory!” About 700 steps were covered and the Sadhus reached the

top of the hill at about 8 in the evening. Then, they had to walk about three

miles over almost level ground. It was a moonlit night but the cold up there

was intense, while, at the same time, Ram’s grace was correspondingly very

great.

A little before midnight the temple of Balaji was reached. At the

entrance to the temple was a fire, around which a number of people were

sitting. The shivering Sadhus hastened to the spot, pressed themselves in

among these friends and warmed their hands and feet. Ram was indeed

kind! A short time later, the doorkeeper of the temple commanded all at

the fire to leave the place and get out since it was time to close the main

door of the temple. So, all had to give up the fireside most reluctantly. The

Sadhuram requested the watchman to permit himself and Ramdas to spend

the night inside the temple, which request was not granted. It was all Ram’s

will. To come out of the temple meant complete exposure to the strong and

extremely cold breeze blowing over the hills. It was dark now and they had

to search out a place to rest for the night. There were some massive

buildings - Dharmashalas - all open. However, the Sadhus scrambled into

one of these and settled themselves down. The Sadhuram began to grumble

at the cold, and said:

“Swami, it is impossible to think of sleep for the night. The cold will

not allow us a wink of sleep”.

“So much the better,” replied Ramdas. “All the time can then be

devoted to Rambhajan - the Bhajan of that All-powerful and All-loving

Being.”

“That is all right for you,” remarked the Sadhuram, “but I should

suggest a move from this place as soon as the day breaks. One more night in

this plight shall certainly stiffen us into sheer logs of wood.”

Receiving no reply from Ramdas who was then engaged in the

meditation of Ram, the Sadhuram laid himself down, and twisted himself

into the shape of the figure 8, at the same time, covering his body with a

thin cotton cloth, the only spare cloth he had. This cloth was too small to

fully cover him in spite of his assuming a position, in which his bent knees

were drawn up to touch his very nose.

“Sleep is quite out of the question,” again said the Sadhuram.

Poor friend, Ram was sorely testing him, all for his good and good

alone. The night passed. Early morning, when the day was breaking, the

shivering Sadhu proposed a climb down the hill. But Ramdas suggested that

they might go farther on about three miles, and visit the waterfall called

“Papanasini”. The general belief is, that the person who takes bath in this

waterfall, will be washed of all his or her sins; hence the name. The

Sadhuram agreeing, both proceeded to this spot and bathed in the waters

falling down a rock with great force. Since it was broad daylight now, the

top of the hill in all directions was seen clearly. The beautiful landscapes

and valleys that met the eyes were simply entrancing. Bath over, the

Sadhuram hastened down the hill, followed by Ramdas, and before evening

they reached the city below. The same evening, both boarded a train

running northwards.

 

Om Tat Sat
                                                        
(Continued)  

(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of H H Swami Ramadas ji  for the collection)