Dear Souls, Become Humans First ! Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha -1

Dear Souls,

Become Humans First !

Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha

Preface

‘From manliness to Godliness’ is the usual call reaching

us from all sides, as we try to walk along the path of

saadhana.

And yet here comes a Sage, with a message breathtakingly

fresh and profound, exhorting us to become

human first before trying to become divine. Indeed, it is

in a full and free human-hood alone, he says, that the

climax and perfection of a true spiritual endeavour best

expressed.

Religion or spirituality is born, not out of divine realms,

but from the everyday world of man. As such, it has to

be effective not only in the temples and puja-rooms but

in the din and bustle of the market-place as well.

Religion, in reality does not consist of all the usual

rituals and worship that is done, either to seek boons

from the All-mighty God or to appease his wrath. It has

a much more human, and vital, purpose – that of

understanding and then working upon the basic

aspiration and urges of man, thereby leading him on

towards progressively higher levels of lovingness,

refinement, wisdom, and ultimately fulfillment. How all

this can come about is indicated in the following pages.

‘Dear Souls, become Humans First’ is the initial volume

of a series to follow, consisting of chosen articles of

abiding worth and value from the pages of ‘Vicharasetu’

– the English monthly brought out by Swamiji since last

two decades 

  

May these words of inspiration and supreme wisdom,

flowing from the pen of an illumined Knower himself,

spread far and wide, blessing, comforting and guiding

as many seekers of Truth as possible.

Vijaya Dashami

Purpose of Religion

What is the real value and purpose of religion or

philosophy? Apart from its seemingly divine purpose,

has it any human purpose to serve for the humans in

their life and activity? Dear souls, a thought and

reflection like this alone would prove practical and

beneficial for your saadhana.

Where I go, devotees and seekers come to me with

questions, doubts, and problems. In rare instances, the

questions are philosophical in nature. Some are designed

to exhibit the questioners own knowledge and skill.

Some aim to eke out information on the subtle points of

philosophy. All of them are equally welcome to me. I

object to neither the question nor the questioners, but I

do want to make it known to one and all that the vital

purpose, for which religion or philosophy and the

association with one like me are resorted to, should not

be missed.

Religion and philosophy, Vedanta and spirituality, are

not just an intellectual pursuit. If they were just that,

then they would have lived within the four walls of a

College or a University, vested with the teachers and

professors. They would not have produced saints, sages,

and seers, making them overflow with love, wisdom

and truth, by the sublime and inevitable effects of which

they renounced their homes and relatives and became

open lovers and benefactors of the entire mankind.

There is something much more deep and sublime in

religion and spirituality that one has to look for and

reach at.

Vedantic wisdom is not a pastime. It is not a fleeting

mirth or merriment. The ideas of true religion and

spiritual life are far different, superior. Spiritual effort

and saadhana are to make man a better man, both at

home and at the work spot, within the community as

also in the world around. Its benefits should manifest in

the kitchen and in the dining room, in the temples as

well as churches, in dealings with friends as well as with

foes, in short in every action. No sphere of activity can

be precluded from the orbit of true spiritual life. If you

divide the human life into two compartments like

material and spiritual you will be a Vedantic criminal.

You are surely heading for a punishment, which your

mind and heart will impose on you sooner or later.

Religion started from man, not from God. It is for man,

not for God. It has therefore to end with man. For that it

must conform to the practical needs of man’s own life

here and succeed in fulfilling his intrinsic aspirations

and urges, whatever they are.

Everything has a connection with man’s body or mind

will therefore come up to be embraced by spiritual

wisdom and comforted by it. I for one am here to speak

of that religious or spiritual life, which will first of all

accept man at his level with all his plus and minus

qualities and then will proceed to handle and harness

him for his own good, ensuring for him both prosperity

and peace.

Prosperity, or abhyudaya, is a dire need for running your

life upon earth. No one can deny it. Without money and

resources, you cannot live at all. The efforts at economic

welfare too come under religion. So too the efforts at

social reformation. Never think that these are antireligious

or anti-philosophical. The religious and

spiritual people may not normally talk about them,

simply because the society does not allow these subjects

to come under their purview.

Religion aims to make man a full man, a woman a full

woman. Its aim is not to make one deficient, poor or

weak in any walk of life whatsoever. Has this fact been

understood at all by the majority of religionists and

seekers?

Detachment as Bad as Attachment

I find religion is most misunderstood and mis-presented.

There is, I hear, the cry of detachment everywhere,

spoken of as the first means in the matter of seeking God

and getting hold of Him. What do the people mean by

detachment or Vairagya? They have in their mind

something like disgust for or separation from the

worldly ties and obligations.

Attachment, every one says, is bad and ignoble. Side by

side, they also picture detachment as the remedy for it. I

am sorry that people are misled by both these words.

They work against attachment and for detachment

without realizing what these concepts really denote.

I agree attachment is bad. But equally bad, I should say,

is detachment. One is pregnant with the guilt of overtaking

to the things of the world. The other is tainted by

the vice of hating the world, the people and things in it.

Are not both woeful?

Need for Right Understanding

True human life is one given to wisdom, right

understanding. In right understanding, there is no scope

for either an excess or shortage. Moderation is its ideal.

You should have everything necessary for your life, but

only adequately, and to the extent you need it.

Understanding is the solution for all the ills, for every

kind of dejection and dismay.

As Yogavaasishtha puts it:

śūnyamākīrṇatāmeti mṛtyurapyutsavāyate |

āpatsaṁpadivābhāti vidvajjanasamāgame ||

Yogavaasishtha Ramayana (2.16.3)

The arrival of the Wise and the benefit of their

association is like the rising of the full moon,

immensely cooling and comforting. It relieves the

affected and makes them illumined and peaceful.

On the arrival of the wise, broken hearts become full and

fervent; the scene of bereavement puts on a note of

felicity; an hour of danger shines as a sure event of

blessing. All this happens, neither by the power of

magic, nor the descent here from the heavens above. It

happens by the touch of viveka in the hands of the wise.

This is an assurance full of nectarine meaning for the

whole of mankind.

The incidents in the world, during the course of one’s

life, present a gloomy picture, not because either they

are wrong, or their cause, the Creator, is angry, but

because your understanding is shallow. The looker and

his look are the blessed or the cursed. None else.

I have found this assurance coming true during the short

life of mine and in the course of my movements with

devotees and seekers. Many, I have found, shed tears

but for nothing, when enquired into. Many sat blaming

themselves for their plight, but for no reasons when

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 12

deeply thought. The shedding eyes have shone, the

gloomy face has beamed, when the right wisdom and

the deeper insight are imparted. I have seen this happen.

It implies a lot when the wise tell us of these benign

truths. Our era is marked for its wisdom and strength of

reason. But alas! when it comes to quenching the mind’s

thirst for peace and joy, we are worse than even stones

and plants! Why should this be so? Can we not change

this plight? If you ask me, we can and we should.

If you gain right understanding, you will begin to accept

everything as it is or as it comes. The sense of contempt

and revolt will vanish for you.

What is there to be hated? If you hate any one, or

anything, in that very process, you are hating the

Creator himself. Is not all created by Him? Can you

report of anything in the world, which is not evolved out

of His being or by His laws? Then, before you decide to

hate, think deep and well.

Samatva is a word quite known to you. It means

equalness of vision and disposition. This should be your

ideal in all spheres, at all times. Krishna has said that

Samatva is the means as well as the end of the entire

yoga or spiritual pursuit.

Aim, therefore, at neither attachment nor detachment.

Instead try to develop right understanding, a sure sense

of wise acceptance of everything around you. In the

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 13

absence of acceptance, what will prevail is a clearconflict,

disharmony. That, by its very nature is painful,

hard to bear.

I will say, learn, if at all, to love everything from the core

of your heart. Be genuine. Do not give room for

duplicity in your mind. Be not complacent. Do not fall a

prey to pride or possessiveness. Never be given to

deception on any score. Do not carry reservations

unnecessarily with you.

Become Open and Free

Any reservation is a load, aching and uncomfortable.

Tension is its sure outcome, sooner or later. Learn to

confide heartily in your dear and near ones. The children

have to confide in their parents. The married must

confide between themselves. Parents must speak

confidentially to their children. Friends must learn to

rely upon each other. If anywhere anyone lacks a

suitable source, then he should turn to God. Very soon

he is sure to find a Great Soul, in whom he will find the

fulfillment of his needs.

Confiding is a must for the human heart. Without

confiding, community life is not only impossible, it is

futile too. Do not remain distant with your family

members. Heartiness is true humanness. Anything else

is brutal. Having had a human birth, preserving or

pretending to preserve it externally, how dare you carry

a brutal inside? Is it not incongruous? It will only defeat

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 14

your human purpose, landing you in a pool of

discontent and dismay.

Right sharing of one’s mind with those with whom it

should be shared will save a number of tragedies and

misfortunes. Right understanding and nobility, when

cultivated and preserved, will avert a number of

wrongs.

An Illustration

See how the ignorant life works its own doom, without

the benefit of clear thinking and sound counsel.

A boy and girl pick up premature affinity. They do not

care to think rightly and in time. Very soon the affair

develops into a strong attachment. It grows into passion,

and by then alas, it has become uncontrollable. It leads

both to misbehaviour, making them lose all sense of

proportion. Impelled by their base urges, they even cavil

at their own parents, who brought them up until then,

enabling them to love and be loved. At one stroke, all

the past and present are set aside and forgotten.

What a contrast, incongruity, incoherence!

It is strange that the same couple, after they get married

and become parents themselves, begin to disagree and

quarrel with each other. I should say it is natural. Until

they married, both had one ideal, dear but distant. That

made them pool their efforts and work for its realization.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 15

Now the story is different. The ideal is no more there; it

is already accomplished. What persist now, in its place,

are a host of problems, challenges, needs and wants.

What is there within them, the might and benediction of

which would make them rise up to the occasion and

preserve their harmony and peace? This becomes too big

a question.

It is here that many fall and fall short in various ways.

This is how the good and noble life gets tarnished and in

the end goes waste. It is this, or a parallel story, that I

hear everywhere.

I am first humanist, then alone anything else. Even

Godness is truly a need of the human. The human

knows only of the humanist God, not the brutalist one.

The religion or Vedanta I know and wish to tell you is

one, by the grace of which, man must be able to avoid

this woeful fate of his. He must be blessed with

something far nobler and pleasant. Can it be achieved is

the question. My answer is a clear yes. It can be. But will

it be, in fact? For, it depends upon whether you need the

blessing and in what way and how dearly? You have to

first work at right understanding. Here again

Vasishtha’s words come to my mind:

utpannapaścāttāpasya buddhirbhavati yādṛśī |

tādṛśī yadi cetpūrvaṁ kasya na syāt mahodayaḥ ||

Yogavaasishtha Ramayana

Who indeed in this world will not have magnificent

enlightenment if only his intellect is prepared to

reason, right beforehand, in the same way in which

it will when it repents after indulging in a wrong

act?

True Knowledge Valuable Indeed

Knowledge is a valuable possession. As sage Bhartrihari

has said, it is the best friend, the sure protector, the

infallible guide and graceful confidant. No one should

spare any efforts to improve his sense of understanding.

Without healthy knowledge, life is boring and painful.

Look, therefore, at your lives with a new out-look, with

a greater hope, a far deeper insight. A good deal

depends upon how and when you make use of your

intellect.

Try to improve your wisdom as early in life as possible.

The improvement has to be wholesome, not partial, for

then alone it will give you peace of mind and joy.

Normally people are governed solely by their emotions.

But it is not correct. If the mind is allowed to do

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 17

whatever it likes, your plight is sure to be tragic. Do not

fail, therefore, to recognize the role of the intellect. The

intellect alone has power to wield over the mind and its

desultoriness and harmful tendencies.

A Challenge for Householders.

I am one who always speaks for householders. The

householder’s life gives them the best of scope of

maturating (this is a significant word, which denotes the

gradual ripening and the ultimate attenuation or

extinction) their unwelcome passions and prejudices.

You may have a wife, or a husband, not all the traits of

whom good sense can approve. But the fact remains that

the partner is yours. The story may be quite the same

with the children too. They may be largely disobedient.

Many of their traits will require correction and

improvement. Yet, you have to live with all, preserving

peace and harmony for yourself and for others as well.

Altogether, it becomes a great challenge. You have to

accept it squarely and make your success. Herein lies the

beauty and tussle of life.

Likes and dislikes, passions and prejudices, are a part of

human nature. Every one is bound to have them in a

greater or smaller measure. You will have your own

chosen prejudices. While living with the others in the

household, you have to inevitably maturate them. It

becomes almost a permanent, life-long effort.

But one need not fear or grumble. Become a lover of

wisdom. Try to improve your understanding, regarding

it as a distinct pursuit and saadhana. Think about

passions and prejudices deeply. Try to examine them in

a serious manner. You will find they are only superficial.

When you go into them deeply, they will disappear into

naught, giving rise to a pleasant and unique

homogeneity. You will be able to find an unfailing

treasure of peace within yourself. But you must be

enquiring and seeking, probing and examining.

It is a subjective examination, no doubt. The life in the

household, the dealings with your near and dear ones

compel you to do this kind of examination, if only you

have the readiness and will for it.

The householder-life is a wholesome one, meant to

process the jeeva (human soul) and perfect it gradually.

But whenever I ask the householders who come to me:

“Are you happy with your wife, your husband?”, often I

miss a ‘yes’ answer. Some try to give a forced ‘yes’, but

only to be followed immediately by more than one ‘buts’

and ‘yets’.

Obviously, there is a lot of hypocrisy and foul-play. Why

should it be so? Why should the sweet and gentle

household be defiled in this manner? Is not man born in

the household, bred and brought up there? The home,

his source of origin, is a very sacred place. It has to do

everything with his heart and mind, not merely with the

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 19

body. The life led there must be a very sublime one. But

lo, what do we find?

What is the reason for this degeneration? Wherein lies

the wrong?

In any matter, one must first have a right understanding.

But this is what lacks deplorably. To most people, the

sacred sphere of human relations is utterly blocked.

There is a lot in it, to be studied and known by one and

all. Normally, in the course of life, each one is expected

to make his study and improve his wisdom to see that

his as well as the others’ lives are made peaceful.

Human beings are human, no doubt. You cannot treat

them as items of merchandise, even though, they may be

your own wife, husband or children. Each one is

animated by a dynamic Spirit, called ‘life’, which gives

rise to several natural wants and ambitions. Unless these

wants and ambitions are respected and attended to, you

cannot hope to contribute peace and joy to another. This

human sphere of knowledge and experience is quite

unique and distinct from all the others. Your

qualifications and experience in other walks of life will

not work here. You have to get specially illumined in

this sphere, by doing vicara and introspection.

Even the worst of situations you face in the hands of

your own people in the household, you must be able to

tackle and turn to the best. No failure can be allowed for

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 20

it will disturb your own peace, besides that of the others.

Alas, how many are aware of this sublime truth!

Why should the households descend to the level of

breeding stealth and corruption? What prevents the

married people from exchanging and expressing what is

in their hearts and minds, with full love, regard and

affection for each other?

Family is the place where its members must express and

share all their sentiments freely and lavishly. Only then

will it become a healthy household. The very object of a

house is to afford place of living where the inmates can

have their freedom and choice.

In the matter of a joint and sharing life, parents must set

an example for their children. Only when the parents are

frank and affectionate to each other, the children born to

them will make a better generation and society.

We find many women who say, “I still do not know

what is in my husband’s mind. I do not dare approach

him with confidence and tell him what is in my mind”.

What is this plight? Many such husbands are devotees

who chant Names and spend on religious charities. They

wear all marks of piety. They tell beads regularly.

What is religion in truth?

True religion begins from sincerity and humility. It

progresses through all good qualities and virtues of the

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 21

mind and heart. Gradually it enters the sphere of right

understanding which reaches its culmination by gaining

full wisdom and realization of the Truth.

You will always find that religious teachings warn us

against hypocrisy and stealth. If hypocrisy and stealth

are practised by one with one’s partner and relatives,

what can you say of one’s devotion and religious faith?

A virtue of a quality is so only when it lives with you for

all times. You cannot say that the life in the household is

distinct from the rest and so the virtues of religious life

need not be there. Personality is always one. Its features

and virtues will therefore have to be uniform. The whole

of your life must be a consistent march towards your

religious goal. I don’t want you to set any separate time,

if you do not have it, for your devotion and piety. Gain

the merit of piety through your hourly thoughts, deeds

and behaviour. In this the life and movements in your

house have a great part to play.

In the growth of the young ones, the unreserved love

and affection displayed by the parents have a lot to do.

Besides contributing to the growth of the children, they

also soften the hearts and minds of the elders. I know of

an instance where a father was a tyrant to his children.

He had no mood any time to show affection to them. He

believed in the old theory of bossing and rebuking.

The children were good. Quite to his expectations, they

grew up well and became prosperous and successful.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 22

The father was inwardly happy to see his children

become exemplary models for many. But the story did

not end there. Age fell upon the father and the time for

leaving his body was fast approaching.

Now arose a deep, invisible tussle in the heart and mind.

His innocent nature began to express itself. Those very

children whom he chastised and frowned upon, hissing

and biting his teeth, now became inseparable to him. His

mind was filled with inexpressible love and affection.

But alas, he had become a misfit by then to give vent to

his heart’s feelings. The conflict and the resultant agony

he was suffering from were very prominent.

There are many fathers (and mothers too) in our midst. I

am sure, who are either suffering already from a similar

plight or heading for it surely. Their education and

reading may have made them big and influential in

many ways. But the cardinals of human-hood, their

brains are incapable of grasping, or may be they

deliberately ignore to learn and practise them.

Children are child-like indeed. They are meant for

petting and tending as well. Look at the plants,

particularly some of them. They seem to be wanting the

presence of their master every day. If the master of the

house or the farm makes a regular visit to where they

stand, spends some time watching their growth and

features, they relish it beyond measure. It may be still

better if he talks to them. In our Ashram here, there are a

few coconut trees and plants. Those of them which are

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 23

near our dwelling and by the side of which we happen

to pass by everyday, exhibit a greater growth and

charm.

If the speechless plants are so sensitive and responsive

to the human touch and association, think what should

be the order of speechful, sentimental human creatures!

The trouble and tragedy is that men and women, in spite

of their intelligence and wisdom, are neither able to rise

to this kind of heartiness and innocence during their

dealings with others nor are they sufficiently illumined,

in proper time, to cultivate these virtues as a science and

devoted practice.

They read religious texts, hold philosophical discourses,

listen to gospels and sermons. But the basic human

virtues do not enter their minds. It is primarily due to a

delusion working in them.

You have been told mostly of the wrong religion and the

ill-conceived Vedanta and philosophy. The bundle of

wrong ideas has been inherited by you right at birth.

Truth is true indeed. To be true, it has to be sweet,

pleasing and nourishing. If Truth were to be painful and

hard, then how would the human mind, which always

wants softness and comfort, opt for it? So think well and

come to a conclusion about the nature of truth.

Ideal of True Love

How to Love

I will always urge upon every one to raise oneself as a

human being. Become human first, before you can aspire

to become divine. Humanness does not consist in

hatefulness, jealousy and pride. Love yourself first. Life

is endearing by its very nature. If innate endearingness

is not there with the life in our body, then most of the

living humans would be compelled to destroy their life

some time or the other. Despite the hardest

circumstances we meet at times, the most painful fate

that befalls our lot, every one somehow still wishes to

live and preserve his most beloved possession, called

life.

This is why I say that to love the lovable life in oneself is

the first part in becoming a true human. Once

selfishness, or the love for your self is properly

understood, if you are able to understand the lovable

nature of life, you will not only love your own life but

the life in every one else as well. The object of your love

is ‘life’. Wherever you are able to find that object,

immediately it becomes a source for your liking and

preservation.

One who loves himself really, will equally love his

parents too. He will also be led to loving all those born

of them.

Normally, there are two kinds of relations for man. One

is born of blood and the other of matrimony. In both is

the expansion and pursuit of love. First of all you begin

with the recognition of the endearing life in your blood

relatives. And then it grows into the non-blood group,

but through the institution called matrimony. Once you

grow with these two sets of relatives, those of blood and

those of matrimony – you can easily grow further and

beyond endlessly.

The Working of Love

One ‘retired’ husband wrote the other day that ‘to love

into a ripe old age’ was the true ideal. The love indulged

in and pursued during the first phases of married life

was not, he contended, of a true and hearty order. Its

origin was just the surface, the outer shell, and its needs

too superficial. At best, he added it belonged to the flesh

and would fulfill the urges of only the flesh.

A sublime truth, no doubt. I am very happy that here is

a good, introspecting soul, whose mind wishes to rise

higher into the sweeter and finer realms of human

relations – and this indeed is the diving realm – to delve

deeper into the hidden treasures of the precious life of

man on earth. I compliment him, saying ‘blessed is he’.

May there be many like him so that the country and the

nation, the world and the human society as a whole, be

led to a better fate.

Take it for certain, dear men and women, there is no

instance where love, true and sublime, has worked a

havoc or breathed the least note of corruption to the

human mind and nature. Genuine love knows only to

soften man’s nature, purify his body and flesh, refine his

mind, ennoble his heart and edify his intellect. The more

and more you love the things and beings around you,

the nobler and better in every respect does your being,

every cell that constitutes it, grows. The play of love on

the personality of man is like the action of magnetism on

an iron piece. Love is the most auspicious and edifying

psychic current, which is given to man alone to employ

and harness.

But alas, having gained a human birth, possessing the

quality of reason and rationality, equipped with the

power to do and know almost everything that we want,

many of us are not able to understand this sublime basic

truth and pursue it properly in actual life and practice. It

is not that no one wants. It is not that no one can. It is

simply that no one sets about the task earnestly. Some

strange delusion, a lack of timely recognition is at work

in every one right from the beginning.

Not all are born with equal nicety and goodness of

nature. Heredity and environment favour only a few.

For them beginning is pleasant. For the others such a

favour is absent. But can that be any ground for excuse?

What for is man gifted with reason? What for is his will?

Reason is to enable him to understand matters properly.

Will is to pursue one’s understanding in actual action.

Even if heredity and environment are lacking, one can

choose one’s way and walk through it gallantly,

provided one is prepared to be guided by reason and

will. Reason, like physical health is to be cultured. Will

can also be enhanced by systematic pursuit. Physical

culture and its pursuit are external, whereas the culture

of reason and will is internal. This is all their difference.

What Is Love

At Jamshedpur, during one of my visits, I was one day

speaking about the basic virtues which should find place

in every human life. I was referring to love, sympathy

and sacrifice, saying that every man and woman, boy

and girl, should take trouble to cultivate them in ample

measure.

The next morning an ardent seeker came to me and

asked: “Swamiji, you spoke yesterday about love,

sympathy and sacrifice. Will you tell me what is love? I

am not able to understand it”. The nature of love that

existed between himself and the others, either relatives

or nonrelatives, he said, was either a kind of duty or

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 28

responsibility, or just accidental, occasioned by factors

like like-mindedness, mutual help, advantage etc. In

short, he was not satisfied with all these forms of love.

At the same time, he was unable to understand the

concept properly.

He was one whom I certainly loved, and who I am sure,

loved me too. Nonetheless, the concept hung

ambiguously around his intellect. The enquiry made is

very significant. When one born in a good family, living

with his wife and children, brothers and sisters, has

asked such a question, it should be an eye-opener to

many of you.

I am reminded of a conversation which transpired in

days of yore between Sri Krishna and the group of Vraja

women, who were devoted to him whole-heartedly,

when the latter enquired of him about the different

kinds of love which guide the working of human minds.

To those who doubt the veracity of such anecdotes, I will

say that the story as such may be true or false. But the

story-writer certainly is a fact. What he has said is

worthy for the truth it contains and reveals. I am

speaking through his mouth, not because he has spoken

but because I too want to speak.

As a rule, people love one another because they find it

mutually advantageous. In so loving, each is furthering

his own interests. No feeling or genuine goodwill or

virtue operates in their minds. Their act is actuated by a

purely selfish outlook and interest. The motive is one’s

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 29

own improvement and promotion, not another’s. This is

the common instance of love found in men and women.

Another kind is the one where one loves the others and

the latter do not reciprocate. Even if they hate and curse

him, he will not withhold his love. Despite whatever

unfavourable outcome it fetches, he will persist in his

love and continue its pursuit. Such a love is occasioned

purely by the thought of the others’ goodness, welfare

and promotion. In a way, this kind of love is akin to that

of the parents towards their children. It is actuated by

pure sublime feelings of sympathy and the like.

Those who do not give vent to these two forms of love

can be either of the two kinds: utter dullards who are

incapable of appreciating what others do for them. They

are selfish and wicked and can only be ungrateful.

People of this category are not rare in the world. Or,

they can be highly elevated and illumined Seers of

Truth, who by dint of their wisdom, constantly revel in

their own self, and hence are unable to devote

themselves to any external interests and formalities.

Excluding all other considerations, they betake

themselves to their inner communion, as does one in

deep sleep. The sleeping mother is not aware of her

child or its movements. Only when she wakes up, she

becomes awake to him and begins to attend to his needs.

In everything, dear souls, there is a science and a

philosophy. Generally there is a tendency in many to

regard philosophy as unrelated to the world and the life

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 30

in it. This notion should vanish from the minds of our

people. Philosophy is a must for our life. Every one

needs it first and last.

There is a science in regard to everything in our life and

pursuits. In the matter of loving too, it is so.

A good soul from Madras told: ‘I have done a lot of help

and service to several people. But all those benefited in

my hands have given me only trouble in the end. I could

never find gratefulness on their part.’ I said ‘it is quite in

order. It helps your evolution and awakening’.

Evidently he who helps others and serves them freely is

a virtuous soul. But to be virtuous is different from

being awakened and illumined.

Help, service or charity done to others has to be judged

on the basis of how it is done, what attitude of mind

accompanies the act. The attitude which motivates an

act, even when the act is noble, is very important. It will

edify as well as vilify what you do. If you think ‘I have

enough, let me give to the other and thereby gloat over

my riches and charitableness, impressing upon him my

goodness and kind-heartedness’, then the whole action

loses its nobility and tarnishes the doer. The mind,

instead of getting ennobled by it will degrade. Not that

the act itself, viewed externally is bad, but the doer of

the act has made it bad due to his wrong attitude.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 31

So, if you propose to practise goodness and thereby

prosper in your pursuit, it is necessary you have

occasions when those whom you help forget what you

have done and behave ungratefully. It is an opportunity

for you to examine your own mind and see how far it is

pure and noble. If you have done a noble act, simply

because good sense and goodwill warrant it, then in

having done the act must lie your fulfillment, not in

getting an open acclamation for what you have done or

in winning a reciprocal favour.

The lessons on human virtues are much deeper than

what they may look to be. They are too deep and at

times even abstruse. Nevertheless, all those who mean to

live well must make a deliberate effort to know them

well and follow in their actions and behaviour what little

they have known.

There is no wonder in the Jamshedpur enquirer having

enquired of me what ‘love’ really meant. Every one

seems to be missing that which is vital in their life, that

which the human personality and every part of it need

most, that by the prevalence and blessing of which alone

will every one be led to peace, contentment and

fulfillment.

The mind and heart in us, not the body, are the mirror to

reflect Truth. Therefore, make them pure and fine, more

and more so every day. For that, they should be

nourished and treated properly. Nothing other than

pure love, which flows from the heart spontaneously,

will help you to this end.

Do not be poor in the matter of loving. Love, love and

love. That is all. Do not ask questions and wait until you

get full answers. Begin the pursuit and you will find it

progresses and fulfills itself in time. A mind which can

not take to love, radiate and manifest it amply, is

virtually a stone.

Look at so many devotees of God. Think of their

devotion. What is it characterized by? Mostly all of them

fear God. Or else they have an abiding sense of respect

and regard.

I don’t say to fear God is bad or wrong. It is good, but to

a small extent. To respect Him is even better. But that

too is not adequate. It is not up to the mark. Even with

respect, you will find you are quite away from your

ideal. You have respect for your parents. In the case of

parents, you can see them. But with God, it is not so.

You and He, both will remain far remote from each

other.

Become earnest and impatient and narrow the gap

between you and your ideal. Reduce the distance

between the place you stand on and the destination you

want to reach.

It is here that the magical turn takes place. Love God.

That is what you should do, if least possible. In loving

someone or someone is the delight and fulfillment of a

true lover. Love is a mystic and inmost sentiment of

ours, the very display of which brings delight and

exhilaration for us. When you love a thing, if your love

is genuine, the very sight, thought, remembrance of the

thing you love will generate waves of joy and comfort

for you.

True love does not always wait for reason and its

sanction. It is an irresistible feeling welling up in one’s

heart. Even the unreasoning and foolish man has a heart.

He too can love. Is not god equal? Is He not in all? Can

you say he is only in the intelligent and the

accomplished? So to foster love, which is possible for all

alike, is the best approach to the omnipresent Lord, who

is Himself all-loving and all-comprehending. Once you

do so, your task becomes easy.

Love Different From Lust

It is needless to say that love and lust have nothing in

common. They are poles apart. One drives you out with

ugliness. The other holds you within beautifully. Lust is

an offshoot of the body. It originates from the body. Its

basic sphere of expression is also the body. Love has its

root much deeper. It springs from the innocent mind

and heart. It is a need of the deeper faculties in man. By

its pursuit, the deeper being gets satisfied and fulfilled.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 34

One destroys reason. The other promotes it. One

weakens. The other strengthens. One works upon

difference. The other knows no difference at all.

The children love heartily. Don’t they? The old ones too.

Good and intimate friends have enough of love for each

other. Will these imply the least trace of lust? To

distinguish love from lust is therefore, very easy.

Love does not dawn merely by the fact of marrying or

by dint of any lustful indulgence. The married will have

to beget love separately, as a distinct item of pursuit. The

lustful may also beget love, not as a part of their lustful

interests, but independently, by opting for goodness and

virtues.

Lover, the Only Source of Love

To love is a noble pursuit. To persist in loving despite all

odds and opposition is the best ideal a human can rise

to. It is a practice and a culture which purifies man and

fulfils him completely. If you take to ‘loving’ regarding

it as a fruitful moral pursuit, as a valuable culture, then

the act of ‘loving’ becomes more important than the

unpleasantness of the ‘loved’, the thing or person to

whom the loving is directed. Love always proceeds from

you, the lover, not from the other, the loved.

You may revolt when I say this. But this is the supreme

truth. You may ask: How can one love in the absence of

an object which can evoke love from one’s mind? I don’t

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 35

say that in the context of loving, the object does not

come in. If there are no objects, there is no question of

any one loving at all. However, to identify love and

loving with the object or person to whom it is directed is

basically wrong. It will only defeat your purpose,

landing you in utter mental and moral poverty. How can

love be identified with the object and not with the

subject namely the ‘lover’ himself?

If you say the object is the source of love. I will ask you:

Does the same object or all the objects or persons

occasion love from every one? As long as the same object

does not evoke love from one and all alike, love cannot

be identified with the ‘loved’. In actual practice, each

loves only a few objects or persons. The things loved by

one are generally different from those loved by another.

The same thing or person that evokes love from you

often turns your fate and you suddenly stop loving it. If

love totally depended upon the object, then such a fate

of changefulness cannot be.

The Science of Love

If there is a real science about love and loving, it must be

able to show us a way whereby we shall be able to

preserve our love despite whatever outcome it begets.

To adopt such a way will be to promote our own welfare

and to gain our end, in spite of all the defeats and

obstacles. Suppose you are able to love the entire world

and all the objects which it holds within it, will there by

any scope for a recession or failure for your love? The

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 36

sight, talk or thought of anything and everything will

but strengthen and improve your love and loving. In

such a state, when reached, do you not think you will

only stand to benefit immensely? In fact, is not the aim

of all religions and spiritual science to bring man to this

lofty level? The object of a discriminating soul must

always be to make the best, to become the heir to the

highest.

If you agree that ‘loving’ rests more with you, the lover,

than with the other, the loved, then can you not realize

that this is so and then make your love and loving

depend upon your own sound sense rather than the

criss-cross thoughts of those to whom your love flows?

As long as the things and persons which become your

loved are all right, there is naturally no trouble. But I am

speaking of the opposite fate and trying to safeguard

your mind against it.

Whether the person to whom you direct your love

reciprocates or not, you should persist in what you have

chosen as your wont or ideal. I don’t say you should go

out of the way in order to express your love to him or

her, where such expression is not possible or will be

resented. But as far as your mind is concerned, never

lose hold of the turbulent, even triumphant, invaluable

possession of love.

To take to love and then to fall from it, let it be on any

ground whatsoever, is nothing less than a ‘prostitution’.

I know this is a hard word, but this is the one to describe

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 37

the fate. In Geeta you will find Sri Krishna

characterizing devotion (bhakti) as wholesome and

unprostitutional (avyabhichaarinee). How can you rise to

the level of avyabhichaarinee bhakti if you are not able to

avoid the instance of mental and moral prostitution at

the much lower levels, in your dealings within your own

household? The entire life is lived in the world, with

men and women, both relations and non-relations, with

the so many co-travelers living nearby. You make life or

mar it right there, nowhere else. If you mar it here, you

are not going to make it anywhere else, neither in the

heavens nor in the still higher regions. If any one thinks

that the callous and scornful treatment meted out to the

people around him will be looked after by the pious

offerings he makes at the altar, he is a fool.

To be loving, to love one and all, as we have already

said, is but one’s own nature. Say it is the very nature of

the life and soul that is in our body. What you should do

is to recognize this basic truth and then give a free

expression to it. All that is needed is the lifting of all

bans and hurdles. Allow the life within your body to

manifest itself freely without any let or hindrance.

Is Love A Duty?

I often hear people say: ‘it is my duty to do this, to do

that, etc.’ Some also speak in the same strain when those

about whom they speak are their own dear and near

ones. I am very sorry for this kind of a treachery of

human relations.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 38

What is there to be termed as duty when life’s basic and

natural traits and impulses are concerned? No one

speaks of a duty in the matter of breathing, of

evacuating, of eating and drinking. The existence of the

body necessitates all these functions. In the same

manner, the existence of mind and the inner being of

ours bring in their wake a number of similar needs and

urges. To love her son is not ‘a duty’ of the mother. To

be devoted and loving towards the husband or wife is

much less duty. Equally so to be regarding one’s own

parents and the elders in general cannot be termed ‘a

duty’. A normal human mind, which thinks and acts

with a right sense, cannot but express all this. It is as

natural and irresistible a process of the mind as is eating,

drinking, evacuating, etc. of the body. If the concept of

‘duty’ has to be courted in order to give vent to these

natural, primary and irresistible expressions, it is too

bad and deplorable.

What is meant by duty, of which we often make

mention? You begin to think of duty only when what

you propose to do, does not have an innate and ready

acceptance in your mind, when your being is not

heartily out to do it. Any thought of duty implies, in

other words, the working of two distinct factors, which

are opposite to each other. First comes the basic

resistance or unwillingness which the mind raises. In

order to overcome this resistance, you then try to bring

in the concept of duty, holding it as a worthy ideal to be

pursued. Thinking of the ideal, you then proceed to act

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 39

with a view to realize it, not anything else. It is therefore,

more a sense of compulsion, of obligation, that makes

you do what you do, and not the natural outpouring of

your own free and innocent nature. If you ask me, this is

far from what is good, pleasant, desirable and what is

really expected of a wise man.

The child is always a complete answer to every question

of ours. Look at the child and see how it acts. It does not

have any sense of duty or compulsion. Its mind is

incapable of it. Yet it does manifest love to the mother, to

the father, to the others dear and near, known to him in

one way or another. In so loving, the child is quite

lavish. He does so with all freedom and fullness. Despite

your growth, maturity and wisdom, if you are not able

to do what even a little child in his state of

rudimentariness does consistently, what a great travesty!

Life Truly an Unfoldment

The whole of our life is a consistent Unfoldment. Rather

than enfolding, we really get unfolded everyday, every

stage, every year. Generally every one tends to prevent,

may be unknowingly, this Unfoldment because of

incorrect notions and the consequent blockades which

the mind creates. These blockades emerge in abundance

solely due to the lack of proper knowledge and

attentiveness. A discriminating man must try to keep

them away and for that he should constantly be seeking

true knowledge and wisdom.

Sita – An Exemplary Lover

The instance of Sita, the consort of Sri Rama who is yet

the most known king of the Raghu dynasty, comes to

my mind.

At the behest of Sage Vishwaamitra, Rama proved his

mettle by breaking the bow and thereby deserved the

hand of Sita. After the exemplary wedding, both Sita

and Rama lived the best of married life. Though beset in

between with a host of hardships and the most severe

pangs of separation, their bond of love grew steadily

and only got strengthened at every stage. Neither had

any grumble or complaint against the other. They were

that matchless couple whom even the heavens might

have envied. When everything was thus going on

peacefully well, the queen became pregnant. Nursed by

the added timely affection of the husband, her

pregnancy was advancing.

It was a custom with the husband to enquire of any

special desires or likes which the expectant mother had

in her mind and then try to fulfil them readily. In the

case of Sita, the desire was to spend a few days

peacefully in the hermitage of a venerable Saint, serving

him and listening to his words of wisdom, so that the

embryo in her womb would grow better imbibing best

of virtues and valour.

It was then the stroke of mishap suddenly befell them

once again, and for ever. It came through the feeble

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 41

scandal unleashed by a washerman during a fit of

temper he had with his wife. He claimed he was unlike

the king of Ayodhya, who accepted Sita even after she

had lived in the Raakshasa’s (Ravana’s) place for a good

length of time.

Clearly it was already a proven case. There was nothing

in it to cause any concern once again. But the unwary

human mouth knows no licence. It can descend or

ascend to any level, when swept by a fit of temper.

However, for the celebrated King Sri Rama, it was too

much to bear. He accused himself stating that he has

become the cause of an indelible stain to the otherwise

spotless Raghu dynasty. The only way open to him was

to redeem himself and thereby protect his lineage.

And so he called Lakshmana, his younger brother.

Telling him of the entire plight, he commanded him to

take Sita to the forest and on reaching there leave her for

good and come back. Lakshmana was no doubt,

wounded to the core. But knowing never to flout the

words of his brother, he embarked upon the heartrending

mission. Placing his sister-in-law in the chariot,

he drove straight to the forest on the plea that he was

taking her to fulfill her own wishes.

On reaching the spot, both of them alighted. He fell at

the blessed feet of his sister-in-law and drenching them

with the warm stream of his tears, he blurt forth what

his brother had commanded him to do.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 42

The immaculate queen was struck to the core. Absolute

loyalty, unflinching exclusiveness, in every bit and piece

of her conduct and behaviour was not a thing she

needed to be taught or admonished about. She knew

well her place and position. When on the day of her

wedding, the prince took her hand, she had accepted

him as the only Lord once and for ever. Neither earlier

nor later did she know of any one second. There was no

question at all of her mind thinking differently during

her exile in the place of Ravana. To be unswerving in her

devotion to her Lord in deeds, words and thoughts

alike, nay even in the deepest level of the Soul, was but

natural to her.

However, for a moment she condescended to the pull of

her basic humanness and nearly lost the ultimate sense

of proportion. She first complimented Lakshmana for

the implicit loyalty which he always to bore to his elder

brother. Telling him to convey her respects and regards

to the mothers-in-law in their due order, she at last

added “carry this message of mine to your elder brother,

the King of Ayodhya.”

The verses which Kalidasa, the great poet of Truth and

Realism, wrote, depicting the tense sentimental scene of

the lone forest, where the softest woman was pitted

against the hardest fate, come to my mind. I have

delighted and reveled in the marvelous produce of his

infallible pen – the most touching and splendid manner

in which he has displayed the most superb human

sentiments and simultaneously dealt with the auspicious

ways in which they are to be gallantly led to the even

triumphant path of goodness, virtue and selfredemption:

vācyastvayā madvacanātsa rājā

vahnau viśuddhāmapi yatsamakṣam |

māṁ lokavādaśravaṇādahāsīḥ

śrutasya kiṁ tatsadṛśaṁ kulasya ||

Yogavasishta Ramayana (14.61)

Let the King, O Lakshmana, be told by you of

these, my wants: “Does it tally either with his

scholarship and wisdom or with the noble

lineage to which he belongs, to abandon me like

this without himself telling me what he is going

to do? Myself who had already once proved my

chastity and character in public by dipping the

body in the blazing fire and emerging unhurt!

Nothing else than the most feeble scandal

spoken by one stray subject of his Alas!”

The human being is an amazing mixture of sentiments

and reason. The Mind is the progenitor of sentiments,

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 44

and intelligence, the originator of reason. Man has been

gifted both with the mind and the intelligence, so that he

may play with and rejoice over both. In playing the

game of life well and in full lies the merit of human

dignity. Life in the world, through media of the mind

and intelligence, is not always as one is apt to imagine it.

Some times, it is abstruse, troublesome, perplexing and

what not. Even then you can play your part well and

achieve success and fulfillment, provided you improve

your wisdom right early and be constantly guided by it.

One cannot live without the mind. Equally so, none

should be without his intellect either. The former, all

easily understand and accept, but not the latter. That is

why many human lives strike a pathetic note and end

up in failure and chaos.

Look at Sita, the way she reacts to what her brother-inlaw

said as commanded by his brother, her Lord.

Sentiments and emotions are not to be suppressed. If

you suppress them, there will be many adverse effects.

You should allow them to express freely, as much as is

possible. But during the course of their expression, you

should not be swept off. Your real nature and values

should not be carried away by them. Express your love,

when you feel moved by it. Equally so, whenever

resentment grips you, give vent to it. But do not make

either the extremity of love or the severity of resentment

guide your decisions or ultimate values.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 45

Sri Rama had ample freedom with Sita, his wife. That is

why he took the freedom of abandoning her, with the

help of Lakshmana, without telling her of his design. In

the same way, his wife too had enough of freedom, to

share her innermost feelings with her husband. And that

is what she does in this message. True love knows no

hatred. It can never imply it. If at all, from the lover’s

mouth some notes of resentment, question,

disagreement and the like spring forth at times, it is not

because of the fault of love but because of the strange

composition of his or her human nature. For instance, as

I said, we cannot live without the complex and

sentimental mind. And this means the mind will have its

own natural compulsions and urges.

So the daughter of Janaka, who though, had reposed all

her confidence on a single Lord, Sri Rama, now

suddenly gets pricked and the weak moment is

exploited by her sentimental mind. She had taken Sri

Rama to be her life-long consort. Her mind had no

reservations at all in the matter. But now suddenly the

fate had come to be different. What can she do? What is

she expected to?

Her question is very legitimate: wedlock is not a

superficial or flimsy affair. As the entry of life in the

body, so is the bond of marriage. It has to be once and

for all, normally. At least for a woman like Sita it was so.

Being so, why this fickleness and unthoughtfulness on

the part of her husband, particularly for one like Sri

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 46

Rama, who has both the blessings of lofty wisdom and

faultless lineage. Sita’s agitated mind finds disharmony

between Sri Rama’s treatment to her and the wisdom

heredity he possesses in himself.

However, this is only a temporary outpouring of her

mind, in the inevitable mood of agitation and dismay.

But are matters such as this to be governed totally by

moods and fancies? She therefore restrains herself and

begins to reason deeper. And then comes to the

following conclusion. The words of Kalidasa are superb

in describing the reasoning of the matchless question:

“No, no, dear son, I have been too hasty in

speaking out what I did. My thoughts were

unwary, knowing no rhyme or reason. Let me

get composed.

No doubt, your brother is a magnificent Soul.

Truly his acts are guided by the best of royal

reason. At no time can any one impute wrong

motives to his actions. He is a kalyaana

buddhi (one with a benevolent intelligence),

and hence no one can receive any harm in his

hands. This being so, I cannot tend to think that

he has acted selfishly in my case. Surely the sins

committed by me in my own past lives have

become ripe and they are bursting out in a

tumult making me unable to bear them.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 47

It is thus that Sita looks at the whole development,

putting it to her reason thereby rising above the flare of

sentiments and reactions. There is an inexorable law

governing life and ultimate nature of incidents that

surround it. It is that each one is governed by his own

intrinsic nature, needs and values. Of course, there is a

kind of net spread round which puts everyone in link

with others like relatives, friends, etc. Nevertheless, each

one’s life is single and is determined in the end by his

own singular causes. Why did Sita get Rama as her

husband? Why did she insist, much against the

warnings of her Lord, upon accompanying Rama to the

forest? Why did she fall in love with the golden deer?

Where was her reason lurking at that time? Why did she

force her brother-in-law, Lakshmana, charging him in

the most painful manner with deception and evil

designs, to leave her and run to her husband’s help,

much against the specific command of the husband

himself? So there is a deep and strong thread which

passes through anything and everything that surrounds

each one in this world. Unable to discern its course, we

begin to fight and misunderstand, rather than appreciate

and understand precisely. In ripe understanding is the

secret of all peace and harmony.

However, quite admirably, Sita comes to her sounder

sense and strikes a note of definiteness, promise and

reconciliation, determined to foster her own unflinching

love to Sri Rama despite whatever consequences it might

throw her open to.

She tells Lakshmana: The right course for me now,

deserted as I am wantonly by my Lord, is to relinquish

my embodied life and there escape my agony and

torture. May be to join the Lord’s bosom, after getting

release from the body. But alas, on reflection, I find I

should not resort to such a step. Within my womb has

been deposited an embryo, which is my Lord’s, and

which it is my duty to protect. Should I destroy the

body, with that I will also have destroyed my own

Lord’s tejas (brilliance in the form of jeeva, spirit in the

body). Surely that cannot be. My heart does not approve

of such a rash, merciless step. Nor will it be proper on

any ground of morality.

Therefore, let me bear my life, despite the pain and

suffering, it imposes on me every minute, until the seed

in my womb matures and I am delivered of the child in

due time. Once the child is born, I become free to adopt

my own chosen course of action.

In the words of Kalidasa, Sita’s determination is:

sāhaṁ tapaḥ sūryaniviṣṭadṛṣṭi

rurdhvaṁ prasūteścarituṁ yatiṣye |

bhūyo yathā me jananāntare'pi

tvameva bhartā na ca viprayogaḥ ||

Raghuvamsa (14.66)

After the birth of the child, this is my resolve:

Heaping fire on all the four sides, I will stand

right in the centre. Standing there erect I will do

tapas gazing at the sun without winking my

eyes. Thus is the most arduous form of

austerity, by which I can wash off all my sins

and also accomplish my most cherished object.

What for is the tapas? It is not to escape from

the company of my beloved Lord, nor to bring a

curse on any one or anything. I want to be with

my Lord forever. Even if I am to be born several

times in this world, I must be born a woman

and that same Lord, must marry me. You will

again be my Lord, and the lot of separation will

not befall us anymore.

Here is the beauty, charm and all-round benedictoriness

of right human life, my dear souls. We miss the best and

most proper in life, because of our short- sightedness,

because of our resistance to think progressively until we

reach the happy phase of perfect human relation. Why

should your object of love ever turn to be one of hatred?

By making it turn so, more than the hated, you the hater

is affected and pained. Love your object even when

hatred grips it. Then the quality of your love increases

abundantly, it becomes militant, tumultuous, invincible

and hence graceful. Even without the object, it will one

day begin to thrill you profusely. The hater will suffer at

the other end, but you his lover will be floating and

dancing in love-revelry, in the rapture of bliss and its

sweet and benumbing effect.

Sita’s instance is an adequate eye-opener, revealer to all

people. Life in the world is never an easy process, even

for the most blessed ones, even for the so called

incarnations of God. There is no point in just dismissing

all this saying that the God Sri Rama and Goddess Sita

imitated the ways of mankind. It is no imitation, but

reality itself. What is true of any human body and mind

was true of Sita as well. She too had a body, consisting

of flesh and blood, in the same way as any one of us.

Within that body was a mind, which was the seat of all

the usual emotions and reactions like the mind of any

other person. But there was something higher and more

in her which perhaps lacks in several of us. With all the

vicissitudes which the body and mind imposed upon

her, she held on to her ideals and clear insight. Reason

and propriety she held first and last. Everything else of

the life and world she held only as the second and next.

Sri Rama might have had his own reasons – either

sentimental or rational for having abandoned his wife

without having a talk with her on the issue. Every

individual is guided by his own sequence of thinking.

He may have his own reason for supporting his step. It

is not correct to impute this motive or that to anyone on

any account whatsoever. Better sense demands that we

be forgiving and accommodating. When everything is

looked at in a comprehensive manner, you will be able

to find out the hidden harmony passing through one

and all.

So Sita looked for reason and decided to pursue the right

course approved by it. The first task before her was to

bring forth the embryo in her womb in the proper time.

Once this was fulfilled, she was free to follow what she

thought was best.

Her decision was to undertake the most torturesome

penance standing amidst fire on all four sides and

looking without winking at the hot sun. What? Not to

rise to the heavens after dropping the body, nor to get

another husband, more loving and loyal, but to join the

same Lord Sri Rama in the next life as well, with a fate of

non-separation throughout. The words of the poet “that

you will again become my husband in the next life and

the fate of separation shall not assail us” are the most

pregnant, robbing and assuring.

Dear souls, here comes to you the monumental example

of supreme devotion, exclusive loyalty, unflinching,

acceptance of the mind and heart towards what it looks

to as the life’s ideal and resort. For a true lover, what if

the beloved falsifies himself or herself? What if a bad

fate befalls him or her? Love is your property, and the

 

preserver or destroyer of it is none else than yourself. If

you think that the loved, the object of love, has an

ultimate determining role, then indeed you have not

understood what true love is. However much an object

may be desirable or lovable, unless you agree to foster

love towards it, its lovability does not mean anything to

you. It is not lovability of a thing, but your lovingness

towards it that becomes a cause of delight. And, if you

believe in reason, then culture your lovingness in such a

thorough way, to such an extent, that even if the loved

falsifies himself knowingly or unknowingly, your love

will prevail untarnished, giving you all the delight,

rejoicing and fulfillment that you want.

Here stands Sita telling us that Sri Rama, even after

having abandoned her in an obviously questionable

manner, is still extremely beloved to her heart. She is not

satisfied with his company and adorning the role of his

queen. She still waits for the chance of becoming his wife

again and again. For that end, she is prepared to

undergo any extent of difficulties, restraints and

troubles. Nothing she finds an excess to persist in her

own unflinchingness and absoluteness.

Is this not idealism, dear men and women? If human life

does not seek to know this kind of lofty living and

pursuits, I refuse to call it a human life at all. At best it is

an animal life in a human garb. The human must be

‘humane’ and must have all the attendant qualities. If

any one is found to be lacking in qualities, it should be

his constant endeavour to cultivate them, paying any

price for it.

We hear so much of quarrel, misunderstanding, maladjustment,

and what not? A lot of these will disappear

and dissolve if only we have the human preparedness to

know what is the right course of living for us and then to

pursue the knowledge through our day-to-day actions

and thoughts.

Dimensions of True Love

True love is highly noble. To give oneself to it and to try

to preserve it is the best. It is the ideal, no doubt. But the

practice is not so simple. It will surely call for a number

of sacrifices and risks. What the Upanishads say about

seeking Truth is true here as well: It is like walking on a

razor’s edge. Any time you may fall or get hurt. To walk

means to be cut. To fall means to be all the more so.

In true love is implied the presence of all relevant

qualities and virtues, which help to promote and fulfil

the love. The lovers must have all the necessary

restraints. But these restraints must be self-born and selfimposed.

The moment they have to be forced by

another, they lose their sublimity and even usefulness. A

true artist will himself know the nicety of his art. The job

he is doing must be well within his knowledge. It does

not have to be taught and then he be made to do it.

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 54

The concern for the lover will always be to preserve the

dignity and grace of the person he or she loves, and to

this end any extent of suffering, restraints and sacrifices

is welcome for him. He finds delight in it. This is so with

the loved as well, who is the lover from his side. Both

are loved, and both are lovers as well. What is true of

one is inevitably true of the other.

In love must be the display of all freedom. Freedom

must be as absolute as possible. Restraints, if there are,

must come from within oneself. But for such restraints,

there must be freedom, ample freedom. Each should

exchange the feelings he has with the other, and other

should equally do so as well. All misunderstandings,

doubts, fears and anxieties must be cleared away in such

a frank exchange. The one sure trait of life is that it

wants to express itself. Feelings and emotions constantly

well up within us, and these in turn are waiting to be

expressed. In welling up and then in being expressed,

lies the fulfillment of our life. The water in a dam is first

collected and the water so collected is let off according to

convenience to serve various purposes. Again the

reservoir builds up level, and then again letting off

follows. Everything in the world and in our life is first a

rise and then a fall, first a growth and then a decline.

There is an element of repetition no doubt. But we have

to make this repetition an ‘art’, a piece of intelligent

activity, a source of joy and comfort.

Rama’s feelings towards Sita were very strong. Equally

strong were his feelings to the others. He had to bring in

a reconciliation between the two. This he could do only

in his own way, taking into account the structure of his

personality, its nature and intention.

Sita had all the love for Rama. She always wanted to

uphold his greatness. But this was only one part. The

other part was also to be counted. She had her other

emotions. There is no mind which has only one

sentiment or emotion. For a mind to be healthy, it

should contain all the different traits, at least to the

minimum extent. That is why she chose to give vent to

her normal, human feelings on finding her Lord’s rather

sudden decision.

This should not, however, cut the root of her basic love

towards Sri Rama. Moreover, it is a very basic truth that

to take the freedom to express whatever one feels and

wishes in respect of another whom one loves is not

wrong. It is necessary, I should say.

The one purpose of loving another wholeheartedly is to

be able to express all that one wishes with that person.

Life in the world can never be uniform for any one. The

rush of water in a river erodes its banks. It overflows

and in the process damages the banks and the adjacent

areas. The river has no control in preventing excess

water. In everything there is the chance for abnormality,

unevenness. In the case of the human mind and life,

which is of course the most complex specimen of

Nature, the natural unevenness will be all the more. As

the sun rises gradually and then sets, so is the course of

our mind and its vagaries.

How can one be always the same in one’s mood and

temperament? Love is a positive and auspicious emotion

or attitude. If this be so, dislike etc., the opposite

emotions and attitudes will also be there. There is

nothing like a positive attitude alone for all times.

Dislikes, disagreements, etc., will therefore have to be

expressed and avoided. Whatever becomes necessary in

the matter of expressing and thereby avoiding these

things out, must also be provided for. Thus to quarrel

for a time over something or the other, does not mean

not to be loving.

One can quarrel with only those one loves and has the

freedom with. You cannot certainly scold or quarrel with

a stranger. Only when a deep and inseparable

relationship is first established, you can think of

expressing your sentiments and the like. This is what I

meant by saying that the quarrel is not anti-love. If you

love someone then quarrel is not anti-love. If you love

someone then you should by that very reason give him

the chance to clear his own mind and heart and be pure

and fulfilled. This is the struggle.

Another feature of pure love is that the lover will have

no enmity with any one. His purpose is to love

everyone. Though he does so, there may be those

around him who consider him to be their enemy. But

Dear Souls, Become Humans First! 57

that is their wont, and the lover has nothing to do with

this. The real lover will give freedom to others for even

hating him. Even then, his love to them will prevail. If at

all he keeps away from some, it is not because he

dislikes them, but because the others dislike him and he

recognizes this fact. This is what Krishna says in his

Geeta:

“My mind to equal to one and all, and hence I

have no friend and no foe. Yet I live in those

who regard me and worship me with love.”

If our love becomes any ground for seeking an access to

any and everybody, without regarding whether the

latter so seek and want, then it will be wrong. So the true

lover will think and say: “That man considers me an

enemy. He has his own reason for it. Yet, I love him. As

an enemy, he wants to avoid me, to think ill of me, and I

in my mind give him the freedom to do so. That is all.

Yet I have the same love for him and the thought for his

welfare as I have for those who treat me with love and

kindness!”

Not all in the world need love and do loving alone. If

some like love, some like hatred. Both are equally in

Nature. Look at some of the animals and creatures. Do

they not have even prenatal currents of love and hatred?

The lion and elephant, the mongoose and snake, the

eagle and snake, all these are born with mutual hatred.

To breed enmity is as much the privilege of any one as to

breed love. The real lover has no right to interfere with

the freedom of the others by force. Of course, by virtue

of his love and benignness, he can always appeal to the

good sense of the others and even this will work only

when the others are disposed to goodness and its

lessons.

Om Tat Sat
                                                        
(Continued)

(My humble salutations to the lotus feet of H H Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha ji  for the collection)